Wednesday, February 1, 2012

F is for Frustrated

Sorry, I'm going to have to whine and talk about my feelings in this blog post. I know, I know. I have to though. This stuff's been boiling up inside me for quite a while and I need to share my frustrations with the world! Don't worry about me though, I'm totally fine. I'm just upset about some things going on in my life and in THIS NATION.

I'll just give you general ideas, since this is already taking away from my precious prayer time that I've been putting aside for a while now. I will try to address all of these issues more specifically in future posts.


  • Especially OBAMA! and his "democracy." He is leading our nation on a highway to hell! He has been stepping all over the constitution and Bill of Rights. He's pro-abortion. That's fine. It's his "choice" but please don't IMPOSE your views and your "choice" on ME and my fellow Catholics/Christians! Please stop ignoring your people. It's a democracy, isn't it? Our word counts?? I mean people DIED for the freedom of this country and for democracy and the right to vote! There are almost 78 million Catholics in America and you will just step all over them and tell them that they must consent to your laws and violate their consciences and moral values?? The values that have remained unchanged for the entire 2000 year history of Christ's church???

  • Next is THE LIBERAL MEDIA! What happened to honest journalist who report the objective truth? I guess that's wishful thinking? Cause all we got is a bunch of liberal somebody's (I can't even call them journalists) that totally ignore a huuuuge anti-abortion uprising (The March For Life) in DC? They reported in the few pro-abortion protesters that showed up, and totally ignored the hundreds of thousands of young and old pro-lifers??? Huh??? Does this make any sense? Oh, and what the heck were Occupy Protesters doing at the March for Life--screaming about their bodies and their right to choose? What does protection of life in the womb have to do with wall street again?....Also, the media does a poor job on promoting/reporting on the candidates for the upcoming presidential elections. THEY TOTALLY IGNORE RON PAUL, WHO HAS A PRETTY LARGE BODY OF SUPPORTERS! So now, even if Obama gets kicked out of office, they're probably going to choose a Republican candidate like Romney, who's been flipping back and forth on his pro-life / pro-abortion positions, and overall been changing his opinions on many issues. He's a liberal in conservative clothing. How can we trust him? Ughh..and it's only because the darn media promotes liberal candidates.
I'm also FRUSTRATED about my lack of time to do the things I care about, such as prayer, spending time with God, learning spanish. I have a lot of goals set for myself and I've been stuck in one spot for a long time now, not moving forward with any of them! I've just been having exams, exams, exams...Every single week, 2 exams at 7am plus quizzes, labs, writing assignments. Don't get me wrong, I'm not frustrated about the schoolwork. In fact, I enjoy it and I'm doing excellent in all of my classes. It's just that I feel like pharmacy school has taken over my life lately. They did warn us that this winter quarter is supposed to be the hardest one of the 1st year. It's not even that hard. It just leaves me no time for GOD and for myself. I want to journal. I already have a pile of books on my desk that I really want to read in order to keep progressing spiritually. I want to exercise because this sitting on my butt, studying 24/7 isn't helping my health! I want to study Spanish.  (I already understand it, just need to practice a little more). I want to learn how to give God my time regularly, every day. I've been failing in all of my goals in the past month or two. And it makes me feel absolutely horrible about myself.

I'm FRUSTRATED about my lack of spiritual progress. I've been feeling pretty dead inside. I've been craving God and trying to get back to my usual zealous attitude...but I don't know what happened? It's almost like I've been avoiding God, avoiding prayer, and spending time with him. Thus, I'm not making progress. I think. Oh, only God knows. That's why I need to end this blog entry quickly so I can hopefully spend some time with Him...that is..if I don't fall asleep first. I'm horrible. Ugh!... I want to live a life of prayer and virtue and sacrifice, but it's been unusually hard lately. And I don't know why. Maybe the devil is just working super extra hard to keep me from God's Grace and hindering my progress.

I'm frustrated because there are so many things I want to talk to Greg about but I can't gather enough courage. I would love to share with him all that I share here in this blog, but it's kind of difficult to go this deep with him, you know? Yes, we've been together for a while and yes we're both Catholics...but it's so hard to start a deep conversation..or just bring up God, or Jesus, or prayer. I feel like we're just on completely different levels. I seek God all the time and He's my number One Pursuit, and I strive to keep learning about my Catholic faith etc etc...Greg, on the other hand, is a simple man of simple faith. He believes. But how much he understands I do not know. Oh how I'd love to have a conversation with him about faith/God/Christ. I can talk with other people (even strangers) about God for hours...but I can't imagine talking with Greg. Is that weird/unusual? I need to pray about that.

I'm frustrated about my family--a family of cradle Catholics--giving in to the Culture of Death. My 3 brothers (that's all of my siblings) stopped going to Sunday mass.  They were raised to go to mass every Sunday and pray every day. What happened? They are just lazy, indifferent, and unconcerned about their souls. They almost completely erased God from their lives. My dad goes to church every Sunday, but he's whole another case with a whole another set of issues that maybe I'll talk about in a future post. I'm only 21 years old and I feel like I've surpassed them spiritually a long time ago. As I said, they're Catholics, but they choose to stay ignorant and don't really care about eternity.

Lastly, I am majorly FRUSTRATED about THE CULTURE OF DEATH sucking everyone in. It is so sad that SIN became the normal thing to do, while virtue and values are a joke to most people. People totally disregard morality and think they have the freedom to do anything and everything they can possible imagine, just because they can, because it's THEIR life. Yeah right, who gave it to you? Did you make yourself?

Finally, I wish I was here right now...away from these troubling circumstances....

But, then again, I am a fighter! I am a soldier of Christ. I will not give up!!

Again, sorry about whining. Maybe I'll feel better now.

And I can now peacefully go and pray and offer up all these issues and frustrations to God. He's going to be up all night anyways :-) It's all in His hands.


  1. I can relate to each of your frustrations. Hang in there with school and don't worry; it will pass. I remember feeling exactly this way when I was in graduate school, and then a similar way when my babies were little--there are seasons in life that require an absolute focus and doing anything else seems so appealing. When I was writing my dissertation, I kept a little list of everything else I wished I was doing, and it was strangely cathartic. And don't worry about Greg, either, or even your family; marriage takes you in unexpected directions, and my husband and I approach our spiritual lives in very different ways, but the ability to talk about these deep matters does improve over time--it's a lifelong conversation. Just give it all to God, and keep speaking the truth in love.

    1. Thank you sincerely Elizabeth for the words of encouragement and advice, I really needed to hear them. So Thank You and God Bless You!