A Letter to God
in Response to the Marital Joy and Bliss
I've Been Feeling in My Heart
over the past Couple of Months
over the past Couple of Months
I sit and I smile to myself...
and I think about how blessed I am (we are)...
.....to know You,
.....to have each other,
....to have this house to call home,
....to have jobs, cars, families,
....to have our beautiful Catholic Faith to guide us every day of our lives.
...And I sit and smile so sincerely, that my heart even feels the truth and warmth in that smile!
I smile, because You Lord, have been so faithful to us. You have answered my prayers so many times before and You have answered them once again now! You are unbelievable Lord and You never fail me...I just had to keep on asking and keep on trusting and You delivered me Oh Lord once again. Oh How Great are You oh God - my heart cannot fathom all of Your Love and my mind cannot comprehend all of Your Goodness, Mercy, and Wisdom. So many times I fear, but time and time again, You show me that You will never abandon me. You come through every. single. time. Our fears and worries are worthless...too bad we let ourselves be overcome with them when we face adversity.
I have the LORD in my heart and
my BELOVED HUSBAND by my side
...what more shall I want?
My husband is working right now and I am so proud of him. Even though he still works his night shifts and we do not see each other as often as we wish to, the Lord has been showering me with endless love lately, especially through my husband. Not only has my husband been showing me much love, but what is most important and what had the greatest impact on me, is the fact that he has opened up to me...that we have opened up to each other (not just our bodies, but our souls). I can now truly say that we are soul mates. We communicate much more, even about the most intimate things, and it is all so natural! I never thought that Greg could open up like this and show me so much love, honesty, and affection. (He is naturally a rather shy, reserved person). He has been wonderful and full of surprises! He has really said some things that truly touched me...things that showed me how much he loves and care about me and how much he understands that the marital bond and well as its physical expression are about - love, commitment, and openness to God's gift of life - and not just about pleasure and fun.
He has made me feel worthy, treasured, and loved, which is what husbands are supposed to do. We have husbands so they can build us up and help us get to heaven, and mine is definitely doing both right now.
Over this past month and a half, we learned so many new things about each other and the Lord brought our love to a new level. We exposed each other's weaknesses and vulnerabilities and comforted each other when we felt sad/disappointed about one of them. It was truly beautiful. Truly marital. We were not embarrassed to talk about things that before, I could not even imagine bringing up! (I now see that the marital bond - becoming one - does that to you). The Holy Spirit really came upon us on our wedding day and blessed us with many gifts - especially courage - it is oh so noticeable. I cannot even describe how our relationship changed between our wedding day and now! We are the same people, yet the way we communicate, the way we love each other now, is so different than before - even though we have been dating for close to 7 years.
MARRIAGE transformed our relationship - it's as simple as that! People don't know what they're talking about when they say that getting married doesn't change anything, so "what's the point?" For us, MARRIAGE CHANGED E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G! It's hard to describe, but it really did! I still can't believe some of the things we said to each other over the past 2 months, without fear of being judged/criticized/made fun of. We love each other just the way we are and when things didn't go so well, we encouraged each other. I just can't get over how beautiful and loving some of Greg's words were to me, especially when I was feeling a bit down for various reasons. I just want to remember and cherish those words in my heart forever. Sometimes I honestly thought that God / The Holy Spirit was speaking such wisdom through him.
Lord, I am a happy, happy BRIDE :-) Floating on clouds, I must admit!
The wedding bliss has not worn off yet!
We're still in the honeymoon phase of our marriage and life is good! :-)
I know that we are in for quite some valleys / crosses on our path, but we will get through them all with You oh Lord! With the love and faith You instilled in us! I am particularly happy about this past weekend - it was a great success for us! After undergoing some difficulties and unknowns with absolutely no idea what and why, the Lord finally answered our prayers and helped us out! Things just keep getting better and better! And although I am sitting here with no husband (as he is working his night shift), I am not lonely and sad as I usually was. Today, the Lord helped me to realize something: THIS was HIS PLAN all along and if Greg worked days, I wouldn't be where I am today. Now that we live by ourselves in our new house - I come home and every day it is just me and You, God. Every day I can pray, study, journal, read my catholic books, and even sing You songs - uninterruptedly. I have definitely grown closer to You Lord during these times when I'm home by myself...with just You. And how many times have I gotten mad at Greg for working nights?! It's mostly because I missed him and was feeling lonely, but also because I was scared that we will grow apart...that once we get married, our marriage won't survive long without communication in person and spending time together. AS ALWAYS, how wrong was I??? How foolish was I to worry and fear about our marriage and our future?! But today, I changed my mind for good. Yes...Greg did say that he will try to switch to days starting in November - but now all that I will say is:
"Let Your Will be Done."Whatever is best for me, for Greg, and for the other people that this affects - let that happen Lord! You are God and You know what's best for us. Whatever Your Will: I know that the relationship between Greg and I as well as You and I will continue growing. So Lord, if I ever whine again, let me realize my foolishness and don't let my whining hold You back from carrying out the plan You have for OUR life together.
YOU ARE BEYOND AMAZING LORD!
Oh, and of course, I just checked my smart phone to see what kind of message You have for me today Lord...what kind of scripture for today, and as always, it couldn't be more perfect for the circumstances:
"Understand, therefore, that the Lord Your God is indeed God. He is faithful God who keeps his covenant for a thousand generations and lavishes his unfailing love on those who love him and obey his commands." Deutoronomy 7:9
You always put the right message in front of my face at the right time Lord...
and that is how You're building me up!
Once again, we love You above all oh Lord and we thank you so much for bringing us together in the sacrament of marriage and making us ONE. Please continue being in the center of our marriage so that as we become closer and closer to You, we also become closer to each other. Be at the center of our life and strengthen our marriage always oh Lord. For this we ask, in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Amen!
Yours Forever, Aggie
Click here for Post-Marital Bliss Part 2: 6 months later