Sunday, August 24, 2014

Restlessness and Longing

Oh Lord, my body pines for you, my soul thirsts for you.

How long do I have to wait to come face to face with You?
How long until I can enter the mystery?
Until I can enter the eternal song of worship and communion of Saints in heaven?

Here on Earth...
I am unfulfilled.
I am restless.
I am empty.

The only things that keep me going are:
- Your Presence in my life
- Your Love in my heart
- The Hope to live with you for eternity

Today at mass....
I was in heaven.
My body was here.
In the church pew
Staring at your body hanging from the cross above the altar.
But my soul was most definitely in heaven.
(Thank you for this foretaste of heaven, here on Earth)
And I didn't want to come back.
No, I did not want to come back to earth for even a split second.

It felt so good to be so absorbed in Your presence...
to be soaking in your love eternal.
I imagined myself resting in your arms, Jesus, and it brought all the comfort I needed.
Never before have I felt your love in my heart so strongly.
Never before did I want to embrace you so badly.
Never before did I want to just leave it all behind and dwell in your house forever.
That very moment, my soul exclaimed in the words of Saint Paul:

From this moment on, 
"it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me."

You blessed me with a lot of things here on Earth.
Truly a lot.
But none of that compares to how I feel when I am in your presence.
None of that fills the God-shaped void that is in my heart.
None of it gives any rest to my soul.

For as St. Augustine once rightly said:

And this is how I feel every moment that is not spent in Your presence...

So Lord, hear my prayer:

1 comment:

  1. The Lord, your God, is in your midst, a warrior who gives victory;
    he will rejoice over you with gladness, he will renew you in his love;
    he will exult over you with loud singing as on a day of festival
    Zephaniah 3:17