Friday, May 8, 2015

7 Quick Takes #51 Pharmacy School and Random Ranting

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#1 Hello!

 

Not much going on here. 
Just on my last rotation as a pharmacy student, ever.

Life has been split between pharmacy rotations, studying, and chilling with my cat...and lately...since it warmed up...planting in my flower and in my veggie garden. It's Greg's 2nd month in a row of overnights - so I try to keep myself busy with pharmacy school work and prayer and hobbies so that I don't have time to be sad and ruminate on the loneliness I feel when he's not around. I have gotten somewhat used to it by now...but it would still be nice if my husband was with me on evenings and nights, instead of just on weekends. Such is life. God has got this. He has a plan for us.

Things will get better, we just gotta get through the hard stuff first. 

#2 My rant from earlier this week when I really felt the stress.......

BEGIN RANT: This is so sad. Graduation is around the corner. And summer. And getting licensed and becoming a pharmacist. 1.5 weeks left of pharmacy school EVER and I cannot enjoy it because I am sooo swamped with work. There is a 50% chance I might die from stress before I get that PharmD.

Just kidding. I just need to breathe and say "Jesus I trust in You." I have been having this crazy feeling like something is stuck in my chest....this heaviness...I have never had anxiety before so I don't know how it feels but I think this is it.  I'm usually a very calm person and I don't stress out easily.  I just have 5 days left of rotations and 2 major projects to finish and to deliver. One of my projects I will be presenting to the pharmacists and the other is an "in-service" that I will be giving to the nurses in the ICU. More about that when I write my APPE #6 post.

Anyways...all I'm thinking about is spring, gardening, flowers, and the glory of graduating pharmacy school after 6 years of hard work....and yet I have to still go and dig deep in my brain and use my critically thinking braincells to work on a research and a patient case project. It's veeeerrrrry hard to concentrate on my work now that it's so beautiful outside. There is a correlation between the temperature outside and my ability to focus on pharmacy school work. And it's an inverse correlation for sure. ONLY 5 MORE DAYS AND 2 MORE PROJECTS TO FINISH AND PRESENT. I can do this. I will do this. If I don't suffocate from this anxiety I'm having first.

END OF RANT.

Moving on....

#3 My parents got the cutest little puppy for their house/farm in Michigan.



#4 Spring Organizing continued...

We got this drawer chest at Ikea so I can finally have a place to organize all of my papers, office supplies, etc. Like all things from Ikea, it took hubby and I about 2-3 hours to put it together because it came in pieces. But it was quality time spent together on a weekend. Just us, and hubby's tools.


#5 Throwback Thursday!

My friend and bridesmaid just recently sent me these after she found them on her old phone. This is me, trying on  my wedding dress for the first time. Believe it or not, this was in 2012 and it feels like it was yesterday. Just 3 months until our 2 year anniversary. How crazy is that?!?!


#6

Picture of the husband and I, videochatting on FaceTime.

Unfortunately, phone conversations and FaceTime are our primary modes of communication while he goes through his 3-month long nightshift periods.

Can you spare a prayer?

Hubby is trying to become self-employed. We are absolutely sick and done with him working night shifts at the machining and welding shop. We are missing out on our youth and our marriage because we never see each other. Don't get me wrong. We are so grateful for we are so  blessed in life: We are young and healthy and in love (thank GOD)...but there is something missing. We absolutely miss spending time with each other like other young, married couples that are in love, do. WORKING OPPOSITE SHIFTS SUCKS. Like I said, I have gotten a bit more used to it now that it's been going on basically our whole marriage (going on 2 years). So I'm asking for prayers...prayers that Greg's self-employment idea works. It will involve investing some money to start the business (and money is kinda scarce around here, with me in pharmacy school...completing rotations which I don't get paid for...and buried in a crazy amount of student loan debt). So this will involve TRUSTING GOD that the money, time, and energy we spend trying to get this thing started and thus bettering our life and marriage WILL WORK OUT. Not only will it involve investing our money to start this, but also my hubby has to quit his job, where he has worked since high school...and possibly have no income until the business is a bit more well established. SO PRAYERS AND TRUST WILL BE KEY....We'll have to trust that we won't lose our money (earned by the hard work of my wonderful husband and saved by his frugal and wise wife [haha]) and fail at this. Because that would suck. Remember, even though I'm graduating, I'm starting a residency and I will be making crappy money for this whole year...and most of it will go towards my student loan payments. So we hope and pray this works. I am convinced this is God-insipred and the HE is the one that gave us the idea and led my hubby to be interested in this and to take steps towards setting it up. We are not just doing it out of selfishness...so that we could have "more time with each other." We are primarily doing this for OUR FUTURE FAMILY. We don't even have kids yet, but we're already thinking their futures. Since in the future, after I'm done with residency, I'll be the primary money maker in the household as a pharmacist and will need to work in order to pay for my student loans, my hubby will probably be the one that works less hours and spends more time with the future kiddos. Now, he can't do that while employed at a full time job as a CNC operator where he usually work around 60 hours per week. So he wants to be self-employed, so that he can set his own hours and his own workload....so he can pretty much be on his own schedule and flexible to the needs of our family. Because, yes, we want to give our future children a good childhood, and we want to raise them with LOVE and in our beautiful Catholic faith. I cannot imagine placing my children in a daycare center and not raising them in our home. Gosh, I'd rather abandon my professional career and be a stay at home mom. But that will be kind of impossible, especially now that I'm young and fresh out of school, since I have accumulated significant pharmacy school debt...and since I am pretty sure God is the one that CALLED ME to be a pharmacist in the first place.

Well, I know that things will work out. Because God is good. And He loves us.
But prayers wouldn't hurt :-)

#7

I leave you with beautiful Gregorian chant that puts your soul right at the gates of heaven. 

"VENI CREATOR SPIRITUS"
(COME HOLY SPIRIT)

Good timing, since Pentecost (meaning "50th day"...aka 50 days after Easter), or the day we celebrate the Holy Spirit...is upon us. 


3 comments:

  1. You're almost there! Finish strong!

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  2. You can do this! Funny, I feel like we're at similar spots; huge amounts of stress, and also trying for the sake of future family to become self-employed! I'll be praying for you!

    ReplyDelete